familiarity

it does breed contempt – no doubt about it. this is another part of human nature that you cannot control. it is in all of us. even the people closest to us like family – we do not like everything about them – we can’t because no one is perfect and no one can meet every expectation you have. you like every part about them, but there is always one habit or behavior you dislike. the longer you know someone – the longer you are around someone – you will eventually find something that you do not like about them. this is not a bad thing – this is human nature and the “endless” march of time coming together. it is inevitable that this will occur. your best friend for 50 years – there is something you do not like about them. your spouse of 50 years – something that gets to you. your parents – eventually they get on your nerves – and you breed some contempt. as long as we know this is part of human nature – just like hate, love, war, jealousy, greed, kindness, etc – then we know it is a natural thing that is a part of who we are. it is ok if this happens but try to keep it in check or you might find yourself alone one day. just another thing we have to manage as we try to keep our grip and keep our place in society.

this world

this world we live in is amazing. this time we live in is amazing. yes – over population is occurring at a faster rate than any time in history and yes – we are speeding up the process of destroying the planet – and these are not good trends. but right now at this moment in time – if we look around – we see a world that is amazing – we see a world that is alive – we see a world that is primitive and modern at the same time – and definitely more primitive if we are looking back at this time 1000 years from now. when future generations look back at this time – they will still see a garden of eden – they will see abundant nature – they will see us roaming around a beautiful world filled with sunsets, sunrises, rainbows, wild animals, wild forests, open plains, remote mountains, islands, valleys. they will be envious of the world we lived in because their world will be completely different. it might be man made or resemble some aspect of our time and our world – but it will not be our time and it will not be our world. this is the time to be alive, to do things with our hands, to walk among true nature, to look into the sky, to see the clouds, to hear the birds, to touch the rivers and oceans. this world that seems modern is in fact still in a pure and true primitive state which keeps us close to nature – the original nature of this world. we should relish this moment, this time, this world – which will be around for our lifetime and for the next few generations. the world as a changed place in the future is inevitable – we can make adjustments, we can help slow progress and destruction – but in the end, it will never be this good again – to live in a natural, beautiful, alive world. don’t dwell too much on the daily problems of life and enjoy this world as much as you can.

when it goes

when you see the mind start to go – it is a sad and terrible thing – especially in a parent. they can still talk to you and conversations are easy – but the confusion starts and the memory loss kicks in. though you can converse, there is not much detail anymore – general answers only. they can still eat, shower, read, clean up, dress – all the usual things in the normal way. but you do see the mind go a bit – repeating questions, repeating observations. you start to realize that things will never be the same. they can’t be alone anymore, they can’t remember to do the key things of each day – they can’t remember to eat or take their medicine – so even if they can do all the other things – if you don’t eat or take your meds – that is a problem – and it requires people to be there and to help get these things done to survive. as the child of the parent that is starting down this no-return path – you start to think about how will you set up the next stage for your parent – how do you make all the decisions – where will they live, how will they live – in a home or at home with the family. how much money is there to make these changes happen – to transition into this unfortunate phase. it happened quite fast – 6 months ago there was some forgetfulness – no biggie at the time – comes with older age – could last for years – but then in a flash – getting lost while driving the usual route, wandering down the street a bit, not getting dressed entirely – unusual things happening – and next thing you know, they are staying in your guest room and going home does not seem like a clear option anymore. you have to face it because they can’t face it anymore – their mind is in the last battle – trying to keep things normal but also knowing something is wrong which they can’t explain because it is their own mind that is confused – it is a never ending loop of confusion and the eyes are not as engaged as before – there is now a distance to them – brought on by this unseen confusion. you start to realize that when you talk with them, it won’t be remembered so you are really talking to yourself but it gives you comfort to hear them agree with you even though they don’t understand anymore. when you see the mind start to go, you realize that there is change coming – for them and for you

Cel

He was a generous man
He was a kind and caring man
He was a loyal man to his friends and family
He was a calm man
He was a thinking man
He was a very wise man
He took care of his family through and through – they had no needs or wants for Cel provided for everything
Cel was a very responsible man
He was a determined man
He was a man on a mission
He was a very accomplished man
He knew how to act in every situation
Friends and family looked up to him – and looked to him for guidance – for the right thing to do
Cel was an honest man and he didn’t need to say much to make you understand what he was thinking
He was a teacher as well – helping people along
If he had your back – you felt safe – he protected us all
He has taught us all lessons – we all have stories of how we learned from Cel

Cel is a man that will not be forgotten
He is a man that will be revered
We are all grateful to have Cel in our lives
Thank you Cel for everything you have done for us
We were lucky to have you