you know –it is a funny thing when you start to become successful – but your mind can’t handle it. it is this whole guilt thing that lies on top of the mind like a wet blanket. it obviously stems from this guilt ridden society that we now live and grow up in. oh, we are made to feel guilty for some reason –about everything we do. one area that is not discussed much are the pangs of guilt one feels as they grow more successful. we still cling to the idea that we are not supposed to be this successful and we do not belong at this level. it is crazy when you think about it –we own the process of becoming successful –pushing hard, never giving up, etc–but when we get that success from this process –we pull back and say –“hey –I don’t deserve this”. and in return, these thoughts can actually start to hold us back a bit –i don’t deserve to make X, so I won’t ask for it –I will stay in my station. this is BS and you need to break from this restricting mindset. you deserve everything you work for –just like the rest of those bozos driving around in fancy cars. stop thinking and go get it! now!
ah –this is one of the hardest things to practice. we want to be modest, we don’t want to be an ass –but our inner self always pushes to be in charge and over-confident. we are unstoppable and the world cannot live without us –and our job can’t do without us –we are too valuable to be let go! –obviously that is BS –but our inner voice does not know this –we are trained to be self-confident –but we must control these thoughts when our reputation, family, career are on the line. we must get back in line and not jump out suddenly, tossing away all thoughts of modesty -this will only lead to trouble. that is why when you are in a heated conversation –you must pause in your own mind and not say the absolute wrong thing –filter your words very carefully –and stay close to the modest line when in the thick of it –as you can always move forward from modesty in the future –but it is harder to back away from over-confidence and bravado. this is not easy and emotions get in the way –you say to yourself –i am the “shit” and i want my way. stop right there and go to modesty for the time being –it will help in the long run. i am not saying to cower and not stand up for what you have accomplished –you do have rights and value –but don’t make any fatal moves –and modesty and help you keep away from the fatal moves. even the most important person in the world must practice modesty –to remain relevant and to remain important in their own mind and in the world
a funny thing happened at a party the other night –I was one of the first to leave. sure, i was still having fun, and sure, i still had a buzz –but when i announced to the usual crew i’m checking out for the night –the folks were shocked. what happened to the usual party guy? the one that has been kicking it up the latest at parties for 20 years. i realized that i wasn’t 20 anymore. i realized that i don’t need to be the last to leave a party. i can have fun to a point and not drink past the memory limit. i can start to live in moderation from all aspects. i have most of the other areas down for moderation –and just needed to dial down this area too. can i still hit the high notes once in awhile –sure. but i need to pull back a bit. i need to be more moderate in this area–or it will bite me in the ass when i get older –it could shorten my life a bit –not good. it is a new year –and i am going to practice moderation more–in all areas –drink, finance, spending, etc