here is a quick lesson. don’t punish kids like the old days. in the old days, we were grounded, cars taken away, complete isolation from our friends. this is not the way to go, especially when it comes to important events like homecoming or prom. so many times a parent reacts quickly and severely – if a kid does something wrong – we punish them by taking away or limiting one of these important events. don’t do this. it will only leave a bad memory for the rest of their lives. they will never forget the time you took it all away at one of their most important moments in their young lives. what you should do is let them go to the event 100% – no restrictions – do not interfere with this memory. and you talk to them calmly and let them know that you do not approve of what they did. you are not disappointed, but you do not approve. you need to let them think about what they have done and over time they will change to make smarter choices in the future. talking to them, reasoning with them is the way to go – rather than severe punishment that will alter their memories in a negative way. this is a new train of thought – try it out.
Month: October 2019
sometimes you take a pause in life. sometimes someone tells you to take a pause. a wise person told me once – “even a boxer needs to rest while in the ring”. this reminds me of something kahlil gibran might say – there is a balance across all things in life. even though we are in the middle of the action, we still need to balance that action with inaction. it is ok to pause in the middle of the action as it is part of the action itself. even though you are in a time of pause, you can still keep busy doing other things. you can still be productive. don’t let the pause affect your mindset. this type of pause is ok. everything is still moving. there is no need to panic. you must still prep for a possible imbalance after the pause. but be positive in the pause. get things done that have been on your list. use the pause to get ahead. use the pause to organize. use the pause to plan for the future. use the pause to think. use the pause to your advantage. a pause during action is rare, so take advantage of it. this is not the same as a permanent pause – which is retirement. this is a pause in the middle of the action phase (between college and retirement). this pause usually represents a time of transition from one job to the next or moving from one relationship to the next. but it can also be any type of pause. the key message – it is ok to pause, but prep for after the pause and be active during the pause – always be working on things. don’t pause in the pause.
just be happy
it is so simple to make this statement. but it is not so simple to make this phrase ring true. we all want to be happy. it is really the ultimate goal in life. if we are happy, then we are ok. if we are happy, then life is good. if we are happy, then we can make others happy around us. being happy is what it is all about. but so many people are not happy. people worry all the time. people suffer all the time. people are sick all the time. people get in trouble all the time. people fail all the time. people never reach their goals all the time. people are jealous all the time. people are envious all the time. people want more all the time. people think too much all the time. and all of these things do not cause happiness – they cause the opposite – sadness, confusion, insecurity, loneliness. so how can all of these people just be happy? the answer is simple. just be happy. that’s it. just be happy. it doesn’t matter if these negative things are happening – you can still be happy. you can look at yourself and you can look in the mirror and you can tell yourself to just be happy – it is that easy. and you can be happy. think about why these negative things don’t make you happy – and then throw all those thoughts away. you are alive and none of these bad things will make any difference at the end of the day. but what can make a difference is that you try to be happy every day. if you fall down, get up and smile. if you lose your job, wake up the next day and smile. if your worry about everything or some things – STOP! – worrying is a waste of time, literally. even if you are sick and don’t feel well – you can still be happy. being happy is a state of mind and you set your state of mind. set it to be happy no matter what else is going on and you will be surprised how those negative things will change. just be happy because that is the easiest choice you will make in life.