when a friend says good-bye

life is a funny thing when it comes to friends.  you start off like a romance –strong, fun, full of life and endless possibilities.  you have the best laughs and share some great moments.  you build up trust and get to know everything about each other.  time goes on and you might meet some other new friends, but not as good as this friend.  but you do spend time with these new friends and your old friend has other things to do as well.  you spend less and less time with this friend until one day, your friend has said that you changed and we might as well go our separate ways.  this does happen –but it is not the normal process.  typically, you move on without acknowledging that things have changed–though it is harder to do this in a small community.  the bottom line is that life is full of surprises and you should be prepared or unprepared for anything to happen –a death in the family, a financial windfall, a friendship fading away.  you think to yourself – “i have not changed” –why would they say that?  it is because the thoughts in their mind have changed.  they think differently about the us –they think we have changed, when in reality it could be the other way around –the person saying “you have changed” is the one who has actually changed –or their perception of the friendship has changed.  the bigger you make your circle of friends, the more chance of someone feeling left out.  what can we do?  nothing.  we can only live our lives as life comes to us.  it is sad, very sad when a friend says good-bye –but like a death, you must move on for yourself and your loved ones. ciao, it was fun.

we were mean

when you were young, you were mean to people.  yes, we are all nice people and have nice friends.  yes, we had fun growing up, making many friends, laughing all the time.  but guess what –we didn’t please everyone all the time.  we did step on some toes, we did piss some people off.  and this is because our minds were still growing.  we would say things without thinking –and these things would sometimes hurt people.  we acted mean towards others to impress others –this is what high school kids do without even thinking.  so what does this mean?  it means that first we must not hold guilt because we acted this way –we were trying to survive in the high-pressure environment of school –we had no choice but to go with our instincts.  if you see someone from your past that you were mean to –say your sorry –why not.  chances are most people won’t even remember because you are not all they talk about.  but, there will be people that do remember and will always think of you as an ass.  not much you can do about that.  one big thing you can do is talk to your kids –tell them not to be mean to others –because they will –it is human nature.  tell them that hurting others to impress others is not the way to go –be nice and be yourself.  help your kids and help yourself in this area.