being a parent

of a teenager can be very challenging.  we have all heard this before and i am giving my 2 cents.  what we find as we engage with teenagers as a parent is pure frustration.  we see them acting as if they don’t care about what is going on or what you have done for them.  you get frustrated and you lash out at them.  you don’t realize what you are saying until later – it happens very fast – as you speak from your emotions.  but you do say mean things to them because you are appalled at their behavior.  when they were young, you scolded them, taught them a lesson and moved on.  now you get no response, they just glare at you – they want to defy you.  but you need to quickly realize that losing your temper is not the way to go – it can only draw deep lines between you and your kid – that could last a long time and cause lifelong discomfort.  yes, you do need to keep reprimanding them to teach them a lesson and keep them on the right track – but you must not say awful, mean things to them.  do it once, learn and then don’t do it again.  keep your calm during these years – show your disappointment, continue to teach – but don’t lose control and say things you will regret.  be the adult.

getting through monday

look – we are all human.  so we feel and think the same in many ways – whether in bangkok or toledo.  and one of things that we all dislike to a certain extent is monday or the first day of the work week in your country.  and if it is not monday for you – it is at least one day of the week.  it is that day of the week where you feel blah and you just want to get through it – no matter how busy or bored you are during that day.  you doubt yourself on that day more than any other day – and when you wake up the next day – you feel completely different – like you are ready for anything – you are confident and ready to go.  but on that “bad” day – you might have negative thoughts or thoughts of hopelessness – and you want to avoid everyone until you are in a better mood the next day.  how do you get through it.  first -acknowledge that this is not your best day.  2nd – don’t make any big decisions on this day.  3rd – avoid conflict.  4th – think of what you will accomplish the next day.  5th – think about the end of the day and the things you will do as you wind down this day – getting closer to the next day so starting to feel better.  ultimately you will have to go through these days over and over in life so you need a plan to get through them without any major problems.  and you can’t avoid this day by not going to work, etc. – because the next day will then be the monday.  you must start the monday like a normal monday – but you can then change it later in the day to make it better.  so start the day as usual to check the box and feel the monday emotions and then start to shift out of the blues as the day progresses – following the 5 steps.  some things are inevitable in life and we have to endure – so recognize it, endure it and move on.

work dance

i know sometimes you want to just get up from your desk at work and walk right out – and never come back – and yell at the boss before you leave.  this thought has crossed the mind of every person in the world at some point in their lives.  it is human nature to get mad at someone and then want to immediately tell that person to “piss off”.  however we can’t do this and we all know why.  because it begins a domino effect in your life that could lead your life down a negative path.  you have to bite your tongue when these times arrive at your workplace – you have to keep your cool – you have to carry on with your emotions in check.  you have to do this to survive.  but the boss has to do this too.  the boss has to keep his/her cool to keep the employees happy.  they too are under the same pressure to not lose their cool – to not yell at the employee.  the boss has a lot to lose as well – that could also become a domino effect causing their business to go down or fail.  so you see it is a delicate dance between employee and boss.  each side needs to think about what the other side has to bear as well – to keep things going.  it is a double edge sword, so think about that next time you are ready to do something rash – there is pressure on both sides to keep the peace