when kids reach those teen years – there is going to be a lot of back and forth arguing and disagreements – there are going to be words said to your kids that you shouldn’t have said. in the heat of the moment, you forget all that you have learned about not saying everything that comes to your mind. you blurt things out, you do act mean and say mean things because you see their disdain and defiance of you – and you want to lash back – and you do lash back through hurtful words. this will happen – but what is more important is that you realize that these are unique times – the kids dealing with the teen years and you dealing with your mid-life years – they come crashing into each other. so you need to go back to your kid and you need to apologize for what you said even though they provoked you. it will only help in the long run to stop those negative memories from forming in their minds – and prevent them from acting like you did when they were teens. go apologize because you are the adult – shock them with an apology.