you can have some confidence when you are born but true confidence needs to grow in a person from when they are young until they are an adult. many times we see kids lacking confidence – this is a natural occurrence. kids not having confidence is normal. they need to see themselves succeed before they can believe in themselves. you might think that kids should have confidence automatically and you might be surprised to see that kids lack confidence as they grow into teens. you can tell them to be confident and to go make it happen. but they often doubt themselves and they doubt what they can achieve. you know they can do it, but they don’t. the only way for kids/teens to gain confidence is to see themselves succeeding and achieving in school or sports or with friends. they will slowly gain confidence but don’t surprised when you first see the lack of confidence – this is part of the normal process of growing up and becoming stronger in every way – gaining confidence as they achieve more – they believe more in themselves.
you cannot compare one child to the next, you cannot compare one sibling to the next. each child has his/her own personality. each child has strengths and each child has weaknesses – just like every other person on this earth. your sibling is good at this and you are good at that. you have to recognize your strengths and weaknesses and you have to embrace them. you cannot compare yourself to others. you will live the life your are supposed to live. one might take a traditional path and be very happy – and another might take the path less traveled and be happy. one might go to this college and one might go to that college – and both can be very happy with their path. one might take this job and one might take that job – both being happy. one might live in the country and one might live in the city – both happy. do not compare yourself to others – because you are not them and they are not you. otherwise you will be miserable over something you cannot control.
we need to avoid the armadillo effect. this is an effect that can come across all of us. we go out into this world – we are brave, we are fearless. that is all good. we need to be brave, we need to be fearless – in order to see the world, to explore the world – to learn from our experiences. this is a must to progress, to eventually succeed. but what we must not do is fall under the armadillo effect. this is when you are so confident that you let your guard down. you think nothing will happen to you, you think nothing will harm you. you think you are invincible. this can lead to great harm coming your way. this can lead to an early grave. you can be brave, you must be fearless – but don’t be naive to think that you don’t need to be alert – that you don’t need to keep an eye out – that you don’t need to watch out for trouble. this is the armadillo effect and it can kill you. the armadillo walks casually across a busy road. the armadillo does not try to avoid traffic. the armadillo does not care about being in harm’s way. the armadillo does not rely on judgement. the armadillo is not alert and ready for trouble. the armadillo only relies on fate. the armadillo is often run over. don’t be run over. don’t fall under the spell of the armadillo effect. stay alert until the end. the difference is literally a matter of life or death.
you don’t want to do something but you must. you are asked to do these things for a reason. these are challenges put in your way to overcome – it is as simple as that. whether it is a social occasion or a work event – you must go ahead and do these things. it is your destiny to do these things. your destiny knows what you must do to grow. you might be hesitant and start to reject the notion of doing this thing. but you are meant to do this thing, to go to this event, to meet these people – so that you can evolve, expand, grow. it is easy to say no. it is easy to stay away. it is easy to stay home. it is easy to be comfortable. you must not always take the easy choice. you must go ahead and do this thing. it is because you do not want to do this thing, that this thing was put in your way to do. that is the logic of life. you don’t want to do it, so life makes you do it. this fact is inevitable. the only thing you have to decide is that you will do it. so when you don’t want to do something – you will soon be faced with the opportunity to do this thing. you will then need to choose to do this thing. and when you choose to do this thing, go to this event, meet these people – you will then evolve.
every person that is put into your life is there for a reason. you have to look at life this way to keep your mind on track. you have to understand that a person is put there to test you, to challenge you, to push you to go further, to help make you evolve, to put you in uncomfortable situations, you make you try your best, to prove yourself, to force you to do what you wouldn’t normally do. you must think this way – there is a reason that person is suddenly in your life – whether at work or in a social environment – there is a reason and it is a good reason. if you think this way, then you will not get frustrated and you will begin to see what you can learn from this person being there – from this person who does or says things differently than you – a person that you instantly want to dislike because they bring out your insecurities – they test your usual confidence. it is up to you to find out why they are put there and what you need to learn. they might be the catalyst to make a big change or they might just be there to help you reach your greatest heights. think this way – that there is a reason and it is for your benefit – and you will make progress and you will not be frustrated. i know it is a big task to open your mind to this concept – and you will have to force yourself to think this way – but it is the only way to move forward. think about this – you are placed into their life to help them as well – every interaction has a mutual reason.
before you are about to do something, go look in the mirror. go find a bathroom and look in the mirror. when you look in the mirror, look deeper into your eye and look into your soul. there you will find the courage to do what you have to do in this world to stay alive, get ahead, push further, pass the test, create success, be confident. look in the mirror and be confident of yourself.
this just came to me! (actually yesterday) — we all like to hang out with the person we know best –right? and that person is someone just like you, right? they have the same interests, they like the same food and drink, they like the same sports teams, they wear the same type of clothes, they have the same manners and mannerisms, right? but who is this person? the answer is simple! these folks are your kids! think about it — you inadvertently create a little you just by showing them everything they need to know to get on in the world –like this food is great, but that food is no good, so we won’t ever cook it in the house –so most likely the kids will never eat it as well. you then root for your college team and want your kids to go to your college as well –and all they know from the start is rah rah go state! then you have great manners and push that on the kids as well –so everyone has the same manners. this goes on and on –so eventually you are older and you hang out with your kids all the time because you are just alike, because you created it that way –it’s natural and if you think about it — it is awesome that you can create friends that will stick with you for life –and they are just like you!