just keep going. that’s it. don’t stop when you are in the middle of something. just keep going and you will get there – but only if you don’t stop. it may seem hopeless and relentless, but if all you do is keep going, then you will be rewarded someday. if you stop, you get nothing in return. so if you don’t know what to do – then just keep doing what you are doing – and don’t stop, never stop until the end. keep going.
jackasses are everywhere you look – in fact you can see one in the mirror as well – because we are all a pain in the ass once in awhile. but there are those folks that like to push your buttons and make you react. they want to see you go out of character and fly off the handle – especially in front of groups. they are the instigators that deliberately think about what to say to get you going. the first few times, you will fall for it – defending your pride or honor – they know how to get you upset. you must recognize these jackasses and you must not react. you must hold your tongue, you must not react, you must keep a calm, happy face, you must fake your feelings towards these people – don’t let them know that your non-reaction is a reaction. you must not react and then fake a nice reaction. they do not need to know what you are really thinking. this is hard to do if you are a person who shows their emotions all the time – and are known for showing emotions. you must gradually change your reactions. you must have controlled reactions most of the time and save loose reactions for more intimate friends. you can do this but you must work at it – you must deliberately put yourself above it all and be more mature in these public situations. next time – stop, think, don’t react.
your mind is always racing. you always overthink things. you wake up in the night stressing. you can’t even make simple decisions sometimes. life starts to push down on you. you don’t know what is the right decision or what is the wrong decision. you see people rising up – you see groups gathering. you allow peer pressure to still affect you – even years after high school. those dynamics are always there – it is you that has to evolve out of that cycle. you have to know that only family and a few friends matter. if you are happy with that – then stop taking your mind down the insecure path. until you reach the next level of existence – where you know what is important and what is not – you will still have these internal struggles. while you still go through these struggles – work them all out in your mind and with your loved ones – then go into the world with a calm facade. the truth is – everyone has to work to be calm in society – to just let things roll naturally. keep calm on the outside – and the turmoil on the inside will eventually fade. the rolling internal seas will merge with the calm waters that you keep pushing out to the world – an even flow will emerge for the finals stages of life.
don’t say 90%
don’t say 90% of what you are thinking. thoughts come into your mind every second. do this, do that, say this, say that. you think so much that you have to learn not to blurt out your thoughts while you are eating – don’t talk with your mouth full. you want to say something as soon as it comes into our mind so that you don’t forget what you just thought. you even pause the tv to say something – knowing that it will be gone if you continue to watch. you want to get your point across. you want to talk all the time. and most of us do talk all the time. but at some point, you have to stop talking all the time. as you get older, you just get tired of talking all the time. this helps you stop talking all the time – getting older. in fact, you must try to not say 90% of what you are thinking. most of what you are thinking can be a negative against other people. you do think positive thoughts as well, but we all think negative thoughts almost as much. it is because you are used to a certain way, a certain person, a certain look, a certain everything. so when you see something outside of your norm – you automatically go to the negative – why do they look like that, why do they talk like that, who do they think they are, etc. it could even be when interacting with a loved one – you want to voice your opinion, but sometimes it can be a cruel opinion. so stop before you speak and screen out 90% of what you about to say to someone. this is evolving, this is growing wiser, this is how you stay ahead in life. you might even listen more and you might show real interest in what other people have to say.
the wall of the 40s
if you have run a marathon or know about marathons, then you know that in every marathon, there is a wall. this is a wall that you must bust through in order to go on and finish the race successfully – which means crossing the finish line. everyone knows the analogies between life and marathons – the idea that life is a marathon. if you can live your life like you run a marathon, then there is a good chance you can make it through with some success and satisfaction. but it is very hard to think and live in these terms. how can you look at life, think of it as a marathon, and then act in the way a marathon is run. it is hard to do. you are in the moment and you want to jump, shout, talk, move, etc. you don’t want to be patient, calm, reserved, etc. – like you would in a marathon. but in reality, you must learn to think and act this way – no matter what. you will do it on your own or you will be forced to do it – to live life like a marathon. this brings us to the wall of every marathon and of every life. it is there waiting for you to bust through or not bust through. and this wall sits in your 40’s. the 40’s is the most challenging decade. you are through the experimental 20’s, the getting used to adulthood 30’s, the fun 40th birthday time period. time starts to run out and you can just start to see the end of the tunnel – years down the road, but now you notice it. you have the most burdens in life – kids, bills, middle marriage years, career challenges, time flying by very fast, kids moving to the exit, prep for college costs, retirement only 20 yrs away – it is a crazy time. this is why the 40’s represent the wall of life’s marathon. this is why you must recognize the wall, this is why you must keep moving and bust through the wall. knowing that the wall is there and that it is supposed to be there during this time – will help you get through it. all marathoners know the feeling of getting through the wall and they know how hard it is to get through the wall. you can either keep running through the wall or stop and walk through the wall. either way – see the wall, recognize the wall, get through the wall. it should be better on the other side – just like in the marathon race.
it is strange when you realize that your spirit is being broken – by another person, relationship, job, etc. it is a strange feeling when you cannot express your thoughts, ideas, feelings anymore. they are not needed, they are discarded, they are ignored – so you feel the spirit breaking and you just close your mouth and accept what is going on around you. you still go through the motions and you still do what is expected – but you also realize that the spirit is in the process of being broken. if you have to stay in the current spirit-breaking situation – you have 2 choices – let the spirit break and become a different person or don’t let the spirit break, but quietly adapt to the situation. you have to be strong to fight against the spirit breaking process. but you can do it. the 1st step is to realize that this process is happening. when you realize, you can then control yourself. you need to stay in this situation for now – you know that. if you don’t – simple – get out. but let’s assume you need to stay for now. so, realize what is going on, then start to protect the spirit – keep it tucked away – back in your mind and soul. you then need to function without the spirit – almost like a robot. do what you are supposed to do – take all emotion out – go day by day – and relax when away from the situation – be yourself so that you don’t change. but when in the situation, be the robot, be the person that is required to keep things going. the last thing to do is think about how to get out of the situation when you are ready. stay in it as long as you need to – then prepare to get out. you must get out in the end – otherwise no sense in protecting the spirit. you are protecting the spirit so that you can set it free again – to be yourself again 100%. this is not new – people have to do this all the time. so do it and keep your unbroken spirit safe.
the arnold lesson
there are many reasons why benedict arnold did what he did. but one of the key reasons was his need for money. he was tight for money, he had debt piling up, he could barely provide for his family, he was desperate and stressed out. he didn’t see a way out of his troubles – he only saw everything closing in around him. he started to think like a desperate man – looking to do anything to get back on his feet fast. he was not patient. he was not tolerant. he was not loyal. he was not faithful. he was not trustworthy. he was not stable. he was not steady. he was not logical. he was not reasonable. he turned against everything he believed to get out of trouble fast. and this is the key lesson that arnold provides to the rest of us. we hear of tragedy, desperation and failure every day. these are things that have become commonplace in our world. every minute of every day someone gives up. they see their world closing in around them, just like arnold did. they look frantically for a way out fast and they are willing to give up everything they have ever believed to get quickly out of their troubles. this is the arnold way of thinking. this is the wrong way of thinking. right now you could be facing troubles. right now you could believe that your world is closing around you. you want to give up or you want to do things that you are not supposed to do – to get out of these troubles. but you must never give up and you must always stay the course. you must be patient and you must be tolerant and you must be steady in your actions and you must be loyal to your principles. you must not throw it all away to find a quick fix. you will get out of these troubles only if you keep going and never give up. arnold made the wrong move and his lesson has served as a good reminder of what not do to. apply the arnold lesson to your life. things will get better if you only keep going and don’t give up.
you need to keep putting the sandbags on the wall to keep the wall from breaking. this is what we do in life – we keep putting more and more sandbags on the wall. we must not let the wall break, we must find more sandbags, we must never give up on this one task. if we can’t find more sandbags and we can’t keep fortifying the wall – then the wall will crack and break and everything will come tumbling down upon us. this is the most dire of events that leads to the most drastic life changes – the loss of your house, the loss of your job, the loss of your family, the loss of your hope, the loss of a life – these are the things that happen when we stop putting sandbags on the wall of life. you must always search for sandbags – this search never stops until the day you die. if you keep searching and you keep trying, you will find those sandbags and you will help keep the wall intact. yes, cracks will appear in the wall – this is life. but, you must never let the wall collapse altogether. you must do what you have to do to keep the wall up and to keep the sandbags coming. a perfect wall does not exist – everyone must find sandbags to stop the cracks from getting bigger. whether it is a financial burden that is causing the cracks or an emotional burden – you must not stop what you are doing – you must tolerate the people and events around you to keep the sandbags coming – you must put up with things you want to give up on – you must tolerate being around people that you don’t want to be around. you must be calm and patient and tolerant – for the sake of keeping the wall together. you must do these things and you must learn to live through these things. that is why they say life is hard – because we all have to do things that we don’t want to do in order to keep the sandbags coming to keep each of our own walls from tumbling down.
always. being calm is a state of mind. being calm is a way of life. being calm is one of the hardest things to master in life. one might never reach a state of complete calmness, but one should always strive to reach this state. even when you are striving you will practice being more calm. to remain calm under all circumstances is to allow the events play out in life they way they are meant to be played out. to remain calm is to admit that your destiny is already planned and that to remain anything but calm is a mistake that you must try to correct. you must be calm in the storms of life. no matter what goes on around you, no matter how hopeless things can seem, no matter if you appear to be going nowhere, no matter if you doubt what you are doing, no matter if you don’t understand why things are happening or not happening the way you thought they would happen – you must remain calm. you must think about this all the time so that it becomes second nature. you must keep moving and you must remain calm while you keep moving through life. to be calm on the inside will allow you to appear calm on the outside. others will approach you and they will try to upset your state of being calm. this will be the main challenge to your efforts to remain calm. you must then be as calm as you can ever wish to be. you must take things in stride and trust the bigger picture that is in motion. it is easy to remain calm when you are alone in a room. the hard part is to remain calm when others come into your orbit. if you can remain calm when challenged by others, then you can get closer to the state of complete calmness. practice being calm and be ready for the challenges to come – because they will come. your state of being calm determines your whole direction in life.
patience is a state of mind
we are told our whole life to be patient and we never really understand what this means – especially when we are young. but as we get older, a strange thing happens – we naturally become more patient. the obvious reason is because we slow down a bit and we have more time to reflect and think before we speak or act. this process yields a more patient demeanor. and once we start to observe our own patient demeanor, we start to see new things in life. we start to see how life plays out if we are not always trying to be involved in every act of the play. we see how things can benefit us by not being involved in every conversation and every event in our lives. from the smallest parts of a conversation to the active engagement of a larger scale event – if we use a patient mind, we can often reap greater results. but this patient mind does not come quickly – it comes when your mind is ready. it is like a small epiphany one day when you start to realize the significance of patience in our lives. if you can recognize this importance, then you can evolve sooner – to create greater results in your life. like anything, you need to learn how to use patience – how to balance it with the other states of mind – how to manage it in every occasion. patience can be a very powerful tool once the art of it is mastered. you have to feel this state of mind on your own – it is not easily explained. we risk losing ourselves in the details if we try to further explain how patience works – so this is the deepest i will go in this analysis. but start to think about patience more – that can also help spur the process of developing a patient state of mind.